The Front Line Force
Against Political Correctness
 

Keeping the Larrikin Spirit Alive

Coming to you from ...

Thought for the day:
"Men talk to Women so they can sleep with them.
Women sleep with men so they can talk to them."

 PRINT VERSION
For those wishing to print out the news. Click on Archives and you will find this edition as well as previous. It is the best place to print from

This is Issue 100 Bloody Miracle

We’ve been going 100 issues which ya can tap inta on the archives button if’n you’ve a mind to find out a lot of our history.

While Good Bastards started last century, the first news letter was posted on October 8th 2000.

When the newsletters all started I had time coming out me ears and it was a piece of cake to do a newsletter each week.

Then slowly a number of very good things started to happen.

The core business, which is a Franchise Network in Australia called Stain Busters Cleaning Systems has been growing very well, over 400% growth in the last four years.

Then a second franchise network was started in NZ and it has grown even faster. Its called “You’ll Say WOW Carpet Cleaning”.

We have 27 territories available in NZ and 10 are already sold and operational.

If your looking to buy a great cash flow business in NZ ring 0800 729969 or in Aus 1300 556602 and hand on your number And I’ll give you a call.

Of course you can always email me on paddy@goodbastards.com

Putting into place the infrastructures with some first class people to do the managing has taken a lot of time and effort but it has come together very well.

Chuck in a few talks at conferences and writing a book pr two and several Good Bastards events

The good news is that while the immediate past has been very intense, with some great Master Franchisees now in place and some excellent systems, I now have a lot more time so the newsletters are going to flow on a monthly basis.

Also a quick little note about the next big project coming up. Look out for this name in the future:

WESTCOAST Brewing

Mystery Creek


One or two of us showed up at the biggest Field Day on the planet at Mystery Creek near Hamilton in NZ.

Shit is was good. We pitched a stand there in the Bleedingslow stand and sold a few books, shirts, hats, politically incorrect flags, Cd’s, and also enrolled a coupla hundred new members in our club.

Welcome to all you good bastards, you have now gone to the next level in being a good bastard and sticking it up politically correct bastards

FREE STUFF

The Most Recent Order of Good Bastards - Membership Drive

It's time we had another membership
drive and built our number up

We are currently sitting on about 1200 members in the main club and about 500 in the Rugby Club.

So here is your chance to get some “Free stuff”
Surely you can recruit “four” folk to the cause and get one of the following for your good effort:
Your choice of

• A Good Bastards book
• A Good Bastards Cap
• A Good Bastards CD

Get your arse into gear and and get the free gear.

If you have previously joined and never received your Certificate or you have lost it. Please resubmit your application by filling the form in down below.

If men vacuumed

Heres the best gifts for a bloke on the planet
The Good Bastards Books And other great gear

There are Five Good Bastards Books.

They are 20 bucks each autographed and posted anywhere in Australia or NZ.
25 bucks elsewhere

The Larrikins Guide to Success Thias is the best seller. Been selling well since it first came out. Its all true and is about a bunch of young Good Bastards bastards and their misspent youth. It will have you laughin from the first page to the last and most folk can see them selves within the storys	Stuff You’ll Never Learn At School This follows on from The Larrikins Guide to Success and is more Colourful story’s of Young Good Bastards as they merge through into their early twenties. Plenty of larrikinism and every bit of it true with those involved directly named. You could be one of them.
The Good Bastards Huge Joke Book An evergreen in it’s popularity. Full of hand picked gags by Paddy covering every politically incorrect situation you can think of. Get your copy now, it’s a great source of yarns.	It’s a Bloody Try Ya Useless Bastard Subtitled “The Definitive guide to Country Rugby”, it is a collection of stories centred around the Saints foolball team in Hokitika. All stories have some basis of truth although no one can identified with any of the events or the veracity of the stories verified. Just the way we want it.
The Lost Tribe Of Jackson’s Bay The latest yarn from Paddy. Motivated by factual events however the story line is fictitious as are the characters. Or are they? It is a griping yarn with generous amounts of humour that takes the piss out of the Government, Department of Conservation, the treaty of Wiatangi and a few other sacred cows. Written to true Sweeney form it take great delight in highlighting the continual stupidity of political correctness.

WATCHING-TV

Other Good Bastards Gear

Good Bastards Caps
$25 posted anywhere in NZ or Aus,
$30 anywhere else

Politically incorrect Flags
$20 posted anywhere in Aus or NZ
$25 elsewhere

Polo Shirts
Your name/nickname embroidered on included
$50 posted anywhere in NZ or Aus
$55.00 elswhere

Good Bastards Long Sleeve Dress Footy Jerseys
Your name across the back
Plus your choice of any number
Bloody flash really
$99.00 delivered anywhere in NZ or Aus
$110.00 Elsewhere

CD
Friday Funnys
Paddys weekly radio joke session
$20 posted anywhere in Aus or NZ
$25 elsewhere

Email Paddy on paddy@goodbastards.com
And we will then figure out how you are going to pay for them.



Secret Good Bastards Fishing Trip (Details Revealed)
Or “How to Get a Good Price for your Farm

Those that partook the tour
Missing Gus, (Well some bastard had to take the photo)

It was all Hutchs idea. He met up with Berg who works on a marina up in the Bay of Islands and the cunning bastards figured it all out and then gave it me to organise which really meant they hadn’t figured it out at all.

We flew in Auckland on the Monday and a mate of Hevaulty had a 12 seater bus to rent, so we rented her.

First pub out of Auckland was at W some bloody place or another. Went in and met a Good Bastard called Jones who either owned it or had just sold it.

He was no relation to the Jonesie who was part of our mob. Our Jonesie had just sold his farm for 4 million but hadn’t yet got the dough so he might as well not have sold it as far as the rest of us were concerned.

We headed off with yours truly as the designated driver and while the destination was Whanagrei we were actually getting further away from it as we were going. Didn’t matter found some good pubs and by the time we reached Whanagrei Joneses farm sale had gone up to 4.7 million.

Along the way someone reckoned a back packers place in Whanagrei was good value. Hevaulty cut them down a bit and we all stayed there for buggar all.

We found a nice restaurant and bar and had a good feed and a few beers and stirred one or two up.

Next day we finally got to where we were headed the day before. A great place called Pihia in the Bay of Islands.

Bloody great, went over to Russel and sized up Honi Hekes flag pole. He cut the bastard down five times in defiance of the pommie government. We reckoned he must have been a good bastard if we would take on the mite of the British Empire.

Next day we bolted up the Island to Kiatia and picked up Hyndsie who then became the designated driver. Caught up with Good Bastard Garth Yates and then set sale for Cape Reanga.

Right up on the top, you have to watch out for the pea gravel, can’t say more than that or I would be dobbing someone in for crashing their car up there.

Then back to Kiatira and into the Orana Motel. A new owner there. Bet ya didn’t know that! Bloke from Darwin and his missus, a coupla good bastards.

Big night on the piss there. We sorta took over the restaurant if ya know what I’m saying without telling ya.

Next day, one or two who had been drinking the chemically brewed were a bit crook and dry as forty thousand bastards. I wasn’t one of them.

Jonesies farm had gone up dramatically over night and apparently had sold for 7.11 million.

Next day we went up the 90 mile beach for a bit of a strop. Can’t say more than that as the van wasn’t covered on the beach.

On the way back we went into Peter Jones pub. You know the All Black that said buggar on TV. Apparently he’s in Gods first 15 now.

A woman there fell in love with Jonesie as soon as she found out that he had got 8.9 million for his farm.

Hevaulty said he had a couple of houses he wanted haunted in Greymouth and was going to offer her the job. I think Hevaulty was secretly in love with her.

Hyndsie was a great driver and took us to some of the most beautiful places. Places that hasen't even been found yet, let alone any buggar exploiting them.

That night we stayed at the Whangaroa pub and had a few beers and Jonesies farm increased another million to 9.9 overnight. Shit it must be good dirt.

Next day we arrived in Kerry Kerry and went for a great old chug on a steam boat, bloody great. Then went to the steam mill and what a bloody great thing that is. We even had a cuppa tea in the smoko room with the saw doctor.

Then she was the big bolt back to Pihia to catch the Big Game Boats.

The Te Ariki Nui

Hyndsie and I were on the Te Ariki Nui with the Hevaulty brothers Kerry and Gus. (Great singers. Like sewing manchines)

Hutch, Roo, Teeno and Jonsie were on Wild Bill, the rumour goes they run out of grog on the first night and Jonsies farm peaked at Eleventy point 9 million dollars.

Now I can’t tell ya too much about all the fish. I can tell you we snagged 6 marlin. I am not allowed to tell ya how many we actually caught.

But what about the Gropher, which the Jaffas call Hupuka. Yours truly caught two of the buggars on the same line at the same time. A 60 pounder and a 50 pounder.

Shit they are great eating.

Paddy with a coupla tadpoles

The other crew also caught a heap of big snapper, but it was our boat that caught the Tuna. They caught a few King Fish, reckoned they broke a record. Probably an LP or a 45.

We were away three days and nights and cruised around the top of the north Island and down along 90 mile beach. Weather was magnificent, like a bloody pond in the bull paddock on a fine day.

After three days and three nights out on the calm seas we headed back to port. All of totally wrapped in the extraordinary experience that we had all encountered.

On the second Monday night we finished up at the Beach Shack in Pihia where Jones farm took another major lurch forward and reached 17.1 million.

The bloke on the banjo, or was it a guitar, or was he even there, anyway we sure had a great old sing along and I reckon a lot of the songs we actually did a better job than the Beatles did on the originals.

Then Jonesie became an instant hero with the farm price holding at 17.1mill and he taught the bar how to do the Jonesie. A sort of shuffle come twist come some new stuff.

There were sheilas there from all over the world and Jonesie won them all. He reckons it was his dancing and singing. I reckon it was the 17.1.

The next day we headed off towards Kiakoe and had a few beers with some Maori jokers at Opononi. Some of yis will remember Opo the dolphin. Well he wasn’t there. Didn’t matter.

Finally we got to Auckland and booked in the Sky Tower and plundered some of Jonesies 19.7 million on the tables.

Next day we all buggared off home to contemplate the memories and await the credit card statement.

Gus with Big Fish

Stop ya whinging, ya grinning bastard

The Good Bastards Hall Of Fame
Maureen Pugh

This issue we are admitting Maureen Pugh to the Good Bastards Hall of Fame. Maureen is the Mayor of Hokitika and earned her stripes as a councillor. By a general consensus at a secret Good Bastards Meeting it was a unanimous vote that Maureen be given the gong.

She is part of the new breed of Sheila who is out there doing stuff and making a difference in what has been regarded a male dominated civic and business world. Great to see and we all applaud her and her ilk and think there should be more of em.

She lives with a mountain man in an obscure but beautiful part of the world called Turawahti.

She has three kids and two grand kids which gives her the additional title of a Grand Good Bastard.

Her and the mountain man are into Hot Roding and the good folk of Hokitika and surrounds will shortly see her and the mountain man stropping around the place in a set of wheels some folk would kill for.

Now we wouldn’t say this, so it might not be true, but she could have the makings of a bit of a piss pot having apparently been spotted with many and a wide ranges of grogs catering for a well seasoned pallet. She has been seen drinking the Speight’s, sipping the Chardonnay, bolting the Vodka. (Take a bit of a breath) then she’s in the liqueurs a few brandys and then settling down to a restful port.

Tennyrate that’s all good, and we welcome this good lady to the ranks of the true elite.

Bar Stools

Speaker for your conference or event

Looking for a speaker with a difference?? Well check out http://www.speakers.co.nz/paddysweeney.html

Measuring Age

The following advertisement in the Melbourne Age received 5000 calls:

Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the bush, riding in your ute, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Daisy.

Over 5,000 men found themselves talking to the RSPCA about an eight week-old black Labrador Retriever puppy.

Men are so easy.

NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney? (Old buggars will know)
 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have
you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your
eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Coupla things that most people miss

WOMAN has MAN  in it.

SHE has HE in it.

Mrs. has Mr. in it.

LADY has LAD in it.

MISTRESS has MISTER   in it.

MADAM has ADAM      in it.

HOSTESS has HOST      in it.

FEMALE has MALE in it..........and  so on.....the list is unending or so some buggar reckoned.

BAT-MARK

Tough Decision

Gidday you Good Bastards…

Why do Aucklanders wear ties?
To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.

If you see a maori on a bicycle why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.

101 Good Reasons Why Good Bastards Beer is Better than Women.
1. You can enjoy a BEER anytime of the month.
2. BEER stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.
4. Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When BEER goes flat you throw it out.
6. BEER is never late.
7. HANGOVERS go away.
8. A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another BEER.
9. BEER labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a pub you can always pick up a BEER.
11. BEER never has a headache.
12. After you have a BEER the bottle is still worth something.
13. A BEER won't get upset if you come home with BEER on your breath.
14. If you pour a BEER right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one BEER a night and not feel guilty.
16. A BEER always goes down easy.
17. You can share a BEER with your friends.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a BEER.
19. A BEER is always wet.
20. BEER doesn't demand equality.
21. A BEER doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a BEER in public.
23. A frigid BEER is a good BEER.
24. You don't have to wash a BEER before it tastes good.
25. BEER always comes in multiples of six.
26. BEER doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from BEER.
28. After you have a BEER, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
29. A BEER never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
30. When your BEER is gone, you just pop another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find BEER labels on the shower curtain rod.
32. BEER looks the same in the morning.
33. BEER doesn't look you up in a month.
34. BEER doesn't worry about someone walking in.
35. BEER doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. BEER doesn't get cramps.
37. BEER doesn't have a mother.
38. BEER doesn't have morals.
39. A BEER will never make you turn off the rugby on SKY on Saturday afternoons.
40. BEER always listens and never argues.
41. BEER labels don't go out of style every year.
42. BEER doesn't wine, it bubbles.
43. BEER doesn't have cold hands/feet.
44. BEER doesn't demand legality.
45. BEER is never overweight.
46. If you change BEERs you never have to pay child support.
47. BEER won't run off with your cheque book.
48. BEER doesn't have a lawyer.
49. BEER doesn't need much closet space.
50. BEER can't give you herpes and other nasty things.
51. BEER doesn't complain about the way you drive.
52. BEER doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
53. BEER never changes it's mind.
54. BEER never asks you to change the situation.
55. BEER doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
56. BEER doesn't make you go shopping.
57. BEER doesn't tell you to mow the lawns.
58. BEER doesn't mind seeing Arnie movies.
59. BEER is always easy to pick up.
60. Big fat BEERs are nice to have.
61. BEER doesn't pout or play games.
62. BEER NEVER says no.
63. BEER is easy to get into.
64. BEER never complains when you take it somewhere.
65. BEER doesn't need to go to the toilet with other BEERs.
66. BEER doesn't wear a bra.
67. BEER doesn't mind getting dirty.
68. BEER doesn't complain about insensitivity.
69. BEER doesn't use up you toilet paper.
70. BEER doesn't live with it's mother.
71. BEER doesn't blow you off.
72. BEER doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
73. BEER doesn't bitch, yell or cry.
74. BEER doesn't mind rugby season.
75. A BEER won't make you go to church.
76. A BEER is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
77. A BEER doesn't think rugby is stupid.
78. A BEER doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
79. A BEER doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other BEER's around.
80. A BEER will not insist those Anne Gedis calenders are cute.
81. If a BEER leaks all over the room, it smells kind of good for a while.
82. A BEER will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson".
83. A BEER won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on your favourite radio station.
84. A BEER won't claim that Ade Edmunson and Rik Mayall are shitheads.
85. A BEER won't make a fuss over a little thing such as leaving the toilet seat up.
86. If you mention a three-hundred-and-fifty cubic-inch V8 around a BEER, it won't thing you're talking
about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
87. A BEER won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
88. A BEER won't smoke in your car.
89. A BEER won't fill up your car with shitty 95 octane petrol.
90. When you're through with a BEER the thought of another BEER doesn't make you ill.
91. A BEER will actually support belching and farting and share your enthusiasm for getting
them included as demonstration sports at the next Olympic games.
92. A BEER is always ready to leave on time.
93. A BEER never fishes for compliments.

94. A BEER won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like Wynns For Oil.

95. BEER tastes good.

96. If you take a BEER out of the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it,
the BEER won't accuse you of date rape.

97. A BEER won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes Greatest Hits" on your VCR.

98. An icecold BEER will nonetheless let you have your way with it.

99. A BEER won't make you pick up some tampons when you go down to the shops.

100. A BEER won't accuse you af lying when you say you read Penthouse just for the
articles. (Of course, you ARE lying but the BEER won't accuse you of that.)

Last night my missus told me to go down to the video shop and get Scent of a Woman. I came back with A Fish Called Wanda.

There are three kinds of people in this world... those who can count, and those
who can't.

This blonde was driving down a country road when out in the middle of this field
she saw another blonde sitting in a row boat rowing. She got out of her car and
yelled, "You know it's dumb blondes like you who give all us blondes a bad name.
If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your arse."

Hear about the thick fuck from Katikati who got a camera for his birthday?
When he got the film developed he had 24 photos of his right eye.

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. Suddenly a man comes along, flings
open his trench coat and flashes them. Two have a stroke... but the third doesn't
because her arms aren't long enough.

What are the three words you never want to during sex?
"Honey, I'm home."

Worst thing about being an egg?
It takes ten minutes to get hard, you only get laid once, and it's by your mum.

Why did God give women arms?
It's a bit tough asking them to lick the house clean.

Cheers

nick@therock.net.nz

HERE ARE THE FREQUENCIES...

Check out their web site
 
www.therock.net.nz

BITE ME

Politically Correct Bastards Exposed

For all their efforts of turning all us Colonials into Snobby Poms (Heaven Forbid) the Docile Toffy Nosed Boffins in the Halls that teach us about everything except getting a job or dealing with life or even catching and keeping a dollar, have changed manhole to personhole but leave these as they are. (Not that it really matters too stuffs)

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write
but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

And my favorite: Why is the past tense of pay (paid) pronounced
"payed;" of lay (laid) pronounced "layed;" but, of say (said)
pronounced "sed." ?????

Good Aussie Pick up Lines
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
this describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
but don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell
except for maybe "Go to hell."

and last but not least that old schoolboy classic

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Bert Island

A woman in a pet shop

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought,

"That's not so bad." When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation. Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."

This weeks wacky site is

Swank verus wank
www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/29/swank.fined.ap/index.html

Its an airbag

The Last Word from Paddy

It’ll only take a few good people

There is something going on out there in good ole NZ and it’s not good. Paddy Sweeney failed standard one s and says “that’ll tell you that I’m not the sharpest hook in the tackle box, so if I can figure it out everyone can.”

Sweeney is the push behind the Good Bastards Movement, a politically incorrect group that started on the West Coast of the South Island and now has over a thousand members worldwide.

Sweeney tells his story: There is a breed of individual out there called the “Do Gooder” and these folk have banned together in various tribes to “Do Good”.

The question is to “Do Good” for whom and what?

It certainly isn’t for common folk like the self and one or two others I know.

The problem for the silent majority is that these “Do Gooders” in their own way are very successful.

If you see a Farmer stopped on the side of the road on his tractor talking to a bloke fixing a fence, he’s bound to be talking about the work of the “Do Gooder.”

If you go into a smoko room of any where that production of any kind happens they’ll be commiserating the successes of the “Do Gooders”.

If you are a Mother, Brother, Sister, Father, Son, Daughter, Cousin, Aunty, Uncle, Granddad or Nana and you are involved in production that supplies and makes the world go around, chances are every day you experience and discuss the chaos you must deal with caused by these “Do Gooders”.

So who are these “Do Gooders”?

They hang out on the far left and have pretty much snookered everyone from the mid left to the far right.

By a rough guess that would be about seventy five percent of us and twenty five percent “Do Gooders”.

They play in our territory, they get the points and they win the game.

Take this resource consents for an example. If ever there has ever been an erosion of freedom it is the ever increasing rule book that enables the maintenance of this insidious cancer.

The seventy five percent that it effects know full well the plethora of disasters and trail of destruction and unwarranted expense this continues to incur.

Do the “Do Gooders” care about this? Of course not, they are glad, pain and suffering on the other side is only a measurement to them of their success.

This does not necessarily include those who are employed to implement the “Do Gooder” laws.

Take the recent example of the push for access onto to private land.

All who support this access by stealth, should be compelled to put a neon sign (at there cost) in front of their dwelling allowing anyone to walk into their house uninvited.

Of course this isn’t going to happen because the 75% know that ‘people also matter’. It’s a pity the 25% haven’t embraced the wider picture of this basic concept as there would better things to look forward to for us all if they had.

The whole scheme of things gets down to production, without it we are nothing.

Yet there are those who honestly thing that the government have all the answers and provide all the money.

The government is only an administrative body of civic services and what should be reasonable rules, (someone conveniently dubbed them laws even though they constantly change).

Sure it’s run by egocentrics who have a wide range of agendas which is largely dependant on the squeaky wheel being oiled to enable them to preen themselves in the public eye.

Sure there are a few exceptions; you’ll find those folk constantly being ostracized for speaking what is common sense to the 75%.

“The Squeaky Wheel Always Gets the Oil” we’ve all heard that and the 25% use it to their advantage better than anyone else on the planet.

Their “Do Gooder” issues squeak the loudest in the ears of the media and the politicians.

Their causes make up an unhealthy percentage of the news and gain and grab the support of the largesse bearing polies.

Any issue the “Do Gooder” wants brought into effect they start with a squeaky wheel and quickly graduate it a screeching chalk on the black board to the deafening thud of a atomic bomb.

Guess what it works, the 75% know that, they see the evidence around them. And what do they do?

They waste billions of words on it and “Do Nothing”.

Why?

Because they are too busy producing.

Producing what?

Five things in the main. Food, Shelter, Clothing, lifestyle and revenue for the Government for them to perform their four functions: Civic duties, administer the ever increasing rules, prop up the calls to the squeaky wheel and hand out largesse.

The one thing that the 25% hate to hear is that they are only there due to the success of the 75% in there function of production.

Its hard to find producers among these “Do Gooders” easy to find whinging bludgers who live off and love handouts.

A social conscience and goodwill for our fellow man is essential in the functioning of a good producing country, however the “Do Gooders” extend that into an ever increasing bureaucracy that is forever more demanding more and more revenue of the producers.

It has become a matter of right that more funds are available for any whim that the “Do Gooders” feel should be there. And guess what, they get it.

Down the pub, at the party, over dinner or any other place that the seventy five percent meet, these issues are hotly debated but alas nothing happens. There is no follow through.

Political parties historically are not the answer. Great rhetoric before they’re elected then once in power they soon find out the bureaucratic machine has such massive momentum that their ideals are quickly swept to one side and they quickly conform to the existing processes and the whims of the squeaky wheel. They soon find that political idealism counts for zilch in the bigger picture.

What can we do, what should we do? To improve the position should be the goal. To believe we are going to fix it puts us in la la land.

Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson starred in a movie “A Few Good Men” a good yarn and a great name.

Let’s paraphrase it and call it A Few Good People” . And while we are at it lets start to write a new script.

It will only take a few good people to make the wheel squeak louder than the “Do Gooders” .

It will only take a few good people to stick it right up every politician; existing, potential or otherwise.

It will only take a few good people who will stop yapping about it, get off there fat arses and do something other than whinge.

Start today with what ever you think it is to get the squeaky wheel going the way of the 75%. It is the one single thing that we can all do and we can do it now.

The issue the silent majority must deal with is our own complacency. As long as that exists nothing much will change for the positive and the erosion of freedom will continue.

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Last Update: 25/07/2005

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