Issue 64 - January 6 2003

Thought for the day: "I taught you everything you know and you're still ignorant."

It is with great pleasure that I make the following announcement regarding the Good Bastards New Years Honours List.

New Chairman Of The Board
John Hynds

Round Bar Table members Alan Kerr and Pat Condon with New Chairman John Hynds at a Secret Good Bastards Meeting at The Good Bastards Hilton

With the passing of Good Bastard Phil Duffy it has left the role of Chairman Of The Board. It is with great pleasure that I announce the appointment of John Hynds as the New Chairman of the board.

John, apart from being one of the original Good Bastards, has played a greater role in the perpetuation of the Good Bastards movement than any other individual.

The following have been elevated to the inner sanctum of the round table. These Good Bastards have stayed the distance with their support and contribution to making Good Bastards continue growing and going from strength to strength.

The entirely prestigious Honour of being a
Director Of The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards
(In no particular order of importance)

Being a Director of The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards is indeed a prestigious honour. This year there are twenty seven new Directors

For their support and encouragement in the progress thus far in the establishment of the first Good Bastards Bar and Grill. (More on this progress in a forthcoming addition of the news.)
Kerry Heveldt
Evan Birchfield
Bernie DeVere
Malcolm Patterson
Brian (Gus) Heveldt
Shane Heveldt
Rhys Heveldt
John Gibb

For their dedicated work in hosting the Good Bastards Day at the Avoca Hotel and their own going work in spreading the Good Bastards Word.
Warren Lucinsky
Sally Lucinsky

For their dedicated work and ongoing support of Good Bastards Day at the Southland Hotel in Hokitika plus all the other things they do in supporting and assisting the Good Bastards Cause.
Rachel Teen
Jane Teen
Paul Teen

For her ongoing loyal support in assisting behinds the scenes in more ways than most people would be remotely aware. It is noticed, noted and greatly appreciated.
Bev Hutchison

For being such a Good Bastard and allowing me to take so much piss out of him on the web site under his true name Bloody Leo. Also for being one of the best Good Bastards to have a beer with.
Leo McIntyre

For their tireless work in the formation of the Good Bastards Rugby Club and the running of the inaugural Good Bastards World Cup.
Renata Blanchfield
Neil Blanchfield

For his enormous effort in producing the Good Bastards Beer and getting it into so many outlets around the country
Alan Absolam

For her support in distributing the largest amount of Good Bastards Beer throughout New Zealand in the almighty Liquor King chain of outlets.
Theresa O’Reilly

For their ongoing support and ongoing efforts of spreading the word throughout New Zealand on their breakfast show The Morning Rumble on The Rock. And of course Nicks regular contribution on this site
Nick Trott
Roger Farrelly

For his support and assistance throughout the year and with Good Bastards Day
Phil Routhan

For support encouragement and assistance in 2002
Kim Wicksteed

For his support and cooperation in the sale and marketing of Good Bastards Beer through www.shopnaked.co.nz
Mark Denvir

For his loyal support in all things Good Bastards in Australia and especially his weekly contribution of a cartoon for the Good Bastards Web Site.
Greg Davidson

For his support in spreading the word of Good Bastards and keeping it in front of the New Zealand Public
Mike King

For his excellent ongoing work in getting the Good Bastards Web Page up each week.
Cameron Walter

For their exceptional and fearless reporting of various events about Good Bastards in 2002
Kip Brook, Word of Mouth Media
Paul Madgwick
Cheryl Reilly

For his ongoing support, dedication and enthusiasm for the cause.
Steve Bennett

For his help and support and being one of the few honest ones.
Lawyer Kevin Jaffe

For their loyalty and support and ongoing promotion og Good Bastards beer at the Kokatahi Hotel
Gary and Gloria McGill

For her continued effort and hard work in getting and keeping our sister organisation off the ground “The Good Bitches / Bad Bitches
Tanya Sweeney

The entirely prestigious Honour of being a
Associate Director Of The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards

For his assistance in having Paddys Fridays Funnies on every Friday morning at 7 20 on Radio Scenicland on the West Coast.
Russell Nelson

For organising the Good Bastards Golf Classic in 2003 and coordinating it in 2002.
Alan Hurley

For his sterling work in getting the Three Good Bastards books into umpteen book shops throughout New Zealand and keeping on my case to get out more.
Charles Goulding

For having the courage to support Good Bastards and cover various items of News and current affairs on Good Bastard on TV3
Phil Corkery

For his much ongoing behind the scenes support in matters yet to be announced within the Good Bastards Movement
Mike Keenan

For their outstanding loyal ongoing support in the perpetuation of the Good Bastards movement
Tim and Sue Teen

A well deserving award goes to this man for his great work in the early days of getting this site up and running.
Capt’n Jack

For his support and effort in being a visible force behind Good Bastards
Arch Keenan

For his contributions and his enthusiastic support, especially under the guise of Steve Flynn’s Irish Archives
Steve Flynn

For his supplying a regular amount of great material for the website
John Tacon

For their ongoing seemingly endless supply of great material and spreading the word around the world
Kurt and Louise Johannsen

For their ongoing massive assistance and willing support in getting and keeping the word out there.
Brian and Veronica Moore

For his great work in bringing more members into the Good Bastards Fray than anyone else
Peter Campion

For his assistance and work carried out in drawing various cartons for Good Bastards plus other excellent work
Dean Turner

Nominations for next years New Years Honours list maybe submitted
for consideration stating who and exactly what they have done for
the betterment of the organisation.
paddy@goodbastards.com

Bloody Leo: Ya know Sween a recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.

Paddy: Is that right?

Bloody Leo: Well, yeah, I can believe that. I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry, it won't happen again dear”?

John Gibb has been rummaging around in his toy cupboard and has ferreted out a few of his old fairy tales from his demented childhood

CINDERELLA
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. First, you must wear a diaphragm.” Cinderella agrees. “What’s the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and **very** satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly... Peter Peter, something or other...."

PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not.

You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

MICKEY AND MINNIE MOUSE
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
Goofy."

SNOW WHITE
Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind
him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to
me!
Lie to me!"

TARZAN
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex.
'What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs
wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony.

Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan

ALBERT

Well now lets get down and get relevant

Truth, that relevant, but what is it?

It is perception and everyone’s is different. So there is no real truth
only what we perceive to be true.

What stops us from learning the truth is the belief that we already
know it. No wonder there are so many stuffed up lives out there.

After taking all that in you might want to do as I have done. Abandon the search for truth and settle for a good fantasy.

Steve Flynn’s Irish Archives

Two priests are in a Vatican toilet using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicobate patch on it. He turns to the other priest and says, "I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis?"
The other priest replies, "It's working just fine where it is. I'm down to two butts a day!."

The New Preacher In Haast
The new preacher in Haast was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty. One day he decided to visit some of the church members who hadn't been to service lately. He went to the first lady's house and knocked on the door. When she answered the door, she said, "Conway Twitty!"
"No, ma'am," he replied. "I'm your new pastor, and I just stopped by to have a prayer with you."
So she said come right on in.
He visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Conway Twitty. He courteously explained he wasn’t and got down to the business of offering up a prayer on their behalf.

Eventually, he came to the house at the end of the road. It turned out to be the residence of a young widow. At the time that the Reverend knocked on her door, the young widow was taking a shower. Hearing the knock, she just wrapped a towel around herself, ran to the door and threw it open. When she saw her caller, she threw up her hands-which allowed the towel to fall to the floor putting all her wonderful young and luscious curves on display. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "It's Conway Twitty!"
The preacher just smiled and said, "Hello Little Darlin." m mmmmmmmdo b do b do
It was at that point he became a lay preacher.

Finally Together
A young woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."

In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."

Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."

Good Bastard Rita Hartney Reckons this one is a pearler
Three Irish blokes, living in London, and three Londoners from Tottenham, are travelling by train to a rugby match at Lansdowne Road in Dublin, where Ireland are to play England.

At the station, the three Londoners each buy a ticket and watch as the three Micks buy just one ticket between them.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the English.

"Watch and learn," answers Paddy.

They all board the train. The Londoners take their respective seats but all three Irishmen cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor arrives to collect the tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

This mightily impresses the Englishmen, so after the game, they decide to copy the Micks on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip but, to their astonishment, the Irishmen don't buy a ticket at all!

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Londoner.
"Watch and learn..." says Dermot.

When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a toilet and the three Englishmen pile into the one opposite.

The train departs and, shortly afterwards, Tommy leaves the toilet and sneaks across to the other toilet where the Englishmen are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please..."

Waikato's most famous All Black Don Clarke – known as The Boot – has died in a Johannesburg hospital, aged 69, from cancer.
Don Clarke Waikato's greatest All Black died of cancer in South Africa at 11pm New Zealand time yesterday.
Doug Clarke, speaking from Morrinsville, said his brother had been in a coma in a Johannesburg hospital.
Don Clarke is survived by his wife of 40 years, Patsy, children Leigh, Glen and Shelley and a 6-month-old granddaughter, all living in South Africa.
The funeral is likely to be later this week in Johannesburg, where he lived for 25 years. His ashes are expected to be returned to Waikato for a memorial service within two weeks.
Clarke played 89 matches for the All Blacks, including 31 tests, and scored 781 points – eight tries, 173 conversions, 120 penalties, 15 dropped goals and two goals from a mark. His test tally was 207.
He had been in remission from cancer, originally stemming from melanoma, when he officially opened Waikato Stadium last March, and recently had heart bypass surgery.
But Doug Clarke said cancer cells in his brother's stomach had started growing again a couple of months ago and further chemotherapy treatment could not stem it.
The news was conveyed by Patsy to another All Black great, Colin Meads, this morning, his wife Verna told the Waikato Times from Te Kuiti. Meads had immediately headed out to the farm to be on his own.
Donald Barry Clarke was born in Pihama, Taranaki, in 1933.
His parents Alex and Anne moved the family to Ngarua, near Morrinsville, when he was about 10.
He was big for his age and played netball for two seasons when no age-group rugby teams could accommodate his size.

But he served notice of his rugby ability as a 17-year-old in 1951 when he lifted two penalties from the mud at Okara Park, Whangarei, to help Waikato wrest the Ranfurly Shield from North Auckland.
Once he established his test place, he was never dropped. He retired in 1965.
Rugby ran in the family. Against Thames Valley in 1961, five brothers – Don, Ian, Doug, Brian and Graeme – played for Waikato.
After a stint in the liquor trade as a salesman, Clarke moved his family to South Africa in 1977 and ran a tree-felling business. He remained loyal to his home country, though.
"I've never regretted the move, but I'll be a New Zealander as long as my backside points to the ground. When I talk of we and us, I'm only ever referring to the All Blacks," he said.
He is the second of the five Clarke brothers to die. Ian died in July 1997 aged 66.
His death came during a tragic period of Don Clarke's life – he was also involved in a road smash where his ute was crushed by a 15-tonne truck.
Matthew Cooper, who broke Clarke's 737 point-scoring record for Waikato, said the loss would be felt throughout the region. "When I saw him in good spirits at the Crusaders game (opening of Waikato Stadium) it gave me the thought he was bouncing back."
Clarke's All Black captain Sir Wilson Whineray called him a Boys' Own figure who towered above the rest. He was a "boyish and boisterous person" off the field.
"When we were on tour and we got tired and homesick, there was Don laughing and helping us through.
"He was just such a lovely man."

From the State where drink driving is considered a sport,
comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyser test. To his amazement the Breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station this Breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

What about this email for a crock of crap and a bloody rotten scam.

I get about one of these a month and I am sure many of you do as well. The email address’s are live here, so you can send them an email telling them what a bunch of scammy bastards they are and that you hope they get their balls caught on a gaff owned by a crocodile.

Have a read, then win yourself a Good Bastards Clock

From: omotayo omotosho Onuigbo
Date: Saturday, 04 January 2003 05:28:17 AM
To: omoonuigbo1@x-mail.net (Do not reply to that email address - WebmasterCW)
Subject: confidential assistance

Dear Sir
I am Director General of Nigeria Tourism Development Cooperation (N.T.D.C). When my country got the hosting right to host the “Miss World Beauty Pageant”, my office had the opportunity of working directly with the Nigeria Tourism Ministry and the Miss World Organizations headed by Mrs. Julia moley. For reasons which might come to you as you read on, I and my husband got you e-mail address from the world trade centre regional office here in Lagos. We have a very urgent and confidential business proposition for you.
As you might be aware, the beauty show was cancelled to hold in Nigeria: on religious grounds, and subsequently held in London.
When my country was awarded the hosting right, my office was responsible for
fashioning the required expenditure budget for the programme. As a matter of fact, my office executives and I succeeded in convincing the tourism ministry to approve a
total $38m(Thirty-eight million U.S.D) for hosting the beauty queens.
Few days after the show was moved to London, we at this end checked our records and found we only spent $4m (four million U.S.D). Normally, the balance of $34m (Thirty-four million U.S.D) is supposed to return to government coffers, but my colleagues and I saw the commercial opportunity and quickly reshuffled. At the end of it, we managed to submit an expenditure report of $23m. (Twenty-three million U.S.D) and returned a balance $15m(Fifteen million U.S.D.). The finance department has accepted the reports without doubts as we from this end took care of all relevant papers concerning the expenditure. Now we have a balance of $19m (Nineteen million U.S.D) outstanding to ourselves and have decided to transfer it abroad for safe-keep before sharing. My colleagues have given me the go-ahead to effect transfer of the said sum into a foreigner’s account. No risk is involved as I have worked out modalities for transfer with my husband, who incidentally is an accountant. All paper work to obtain approval from the bank where the outstanding is lying have being dully processed. It all depends on how reliable you can be. Please if you think along the same line enough to assist me, so as to use your account to lodge the money, contact me. Should you require any clarification or have any questions, feel free to ask me. Looking forward to your urgent reply.
Yours truly,
Mrs.omotayo omotosho onuigbo

Please get back to me through this e-mail: onuigbogodo@yahoo.com

Send an email to the dirty scamming bitch and let us know what you said and win a GOOD BASTARDS CLOCK

Corinne Ryan from Whataroa sent this one in
A middle age fella goes into a shoe shop and asks the sales assistant for a pair of size 5 shoes. The assistant looks at him with disbelief and says "sir, there is no way you will fit into a pair of size 5 shoes you are a 11 at least". The fella says "look mate I am the customer, if I want a pair of size 5 shoes you will sell me a bloody pair of size 5 shoes". The assistant shrugged, went and got the shoes.
After much struggling and battling with the shoehorn he finally got the shoes on. Paid his money and limped out the door.
A few weeks latter the shop assistant was at the bakery getting his lunch when he saw the fella hobbling very painfully down the street. The shop assistant ran over to him and said, "look I told you those shoes were far to small for you, some back to the shop and get a pair of size 11s'. The fella shook his head and said, “these are the right shoes for me, its a bit of a long story, but the wife’s just left me, me eldest son is gay, me youngest daughter is pregnant and the banks foreclosing on the farm". " the only f#@*ing thing I have to look forward to at night, is to get these f@@*ing shoes off!!!

MEDICAL NEWS
The American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.

This weeks little dose is disconcerting to say the least. Sent in by J R Walton from the good old US of A.

What would you think of a company that employed around 500 people in management roles and had these statistics?

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested foe Fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
117 have bankrupted at least two (2) businesses
3 have been arrested for assault
71 can’t get a credit card because of a bad credit rating
14 have been arrested on drug related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits.
In 1998 84 were stopped for drunk driving

Would you be nervous of relying on such a company or investing in such a company? Or that company having a major bearing on your future?

That group just happen to make up the 535 members of the Congress of the United States

Georgie Boy is hell bent on sending the world into not one, but several wars once more, stuff the talking, lets bomb shit out of the Bastards seems to be his approach to this matter.

The above list is the basis of a large part of those behind the process.

Scary stuff????????

Heres Bill doing his amazing act of holding up a Bar Stool with no hands in the Southland Hotel on Good Bastards Day

Bill savage has been around since before Adam, his wife is much younger. They have been great supporters of Good Bastards. Bill has been the manger of the big Mill south of Hokitika at Ruatapu.

He successfully bridged the gap from native milling in the place into Pine. Not only that they have been able to increase production to a second shift. Now that really is something.

Sadly Bill and Marion are leaving the West Coast and moving to Waimate in South Canterbury where Bill will take on a new challenge also within the timber industry.

No doubt Bill and Marion will further the cause of Good Bastards in that region. Its virgin territory down there as far members in The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards. I’m sure that Bill and Marion will change by responding to the challenge.

They are a couple of real Good Bustards to have a beer with and while away an hour or six.

Heres to your admission into the Good Bastards Hall Of Fame and all the best with your new challenge.

As it was heard said; ,,,,,,, “They’ll Be Back.”

This week I though I would broach the subject of Advice, something I’m very good at. One of my many talents. I’m a multi talented bastard in case you hadn’t noticed.

Advice is free and worth every cent, except mine which is worth a fortune. I always heed Sweeney’s advice, it makes him feel good. I did say heed, not follow.

His advice is like a laxative, easy to take but with dire consequences.

The biggest trouble that I have found in giving advice is that people want to repay you with some of there’s, which of course is never any bloody good.

Ask what the second thought is, is my advice, as it is always better than the first bastard.

Advice is usually given after the event. A bit like giving medicine after death really.

Now my final word on the subject is this; Never walk when you can ride.

Deep that, very deep, deeper than Lake Wahapo and Sweeney reckons that’s bottomless in places.

What the hell would he know, he’s never been down there.

I’m away now to think up some more stuff for next week.

Catcha then

Little Paddy

It was the second grade teacher’s birthday, so every child in the class was giving her a special gift. Anna's mother owns a Flower Shop, so Anna gave the teacher some beautiful flowers; Roberts parents owned a Lolly Shop and Robert gave the teacher a wonderful box of chocolates.

Then it was Little Paddy's turn. Paddy's Dad owned a Liquor Store, and Paddy had brought a big box for his teacher to open. When Little Paddy handed the box to his teacher, she noticed the bottom of the box was wet. So, she put her finger on it and tasted it. "Is it wine ?" the teacher asked. " No, it's not wine!" Paddy replied. She tasted it again, " Hmmmmmmm, is it some sort of liquor ?' " Nope, it's not liquor !" said Little Paddy. She tasted it again and was puzzled, " Well Paddy, I give up. What is it?"

Little Paddy replied in an excited voice " It's A Puppy "

I'm still on holiday you Good Bastards so only one joke this week, and a late one at that...

A Mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.
He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."

Thanks for the New Year's Honours too Paddy... the Queen can stick hers right up her chutney chute!

Nick

Last word from Paddy
I was reading the other day that the average person spends 10% more than they earn. That credit card debt is growing dramatically and personal bankruptcies are increasing.

The bottom line is that the credit card providers don’t give a single solitary stuff if you go broke.

In Australia the banks have recently had their lending ratio increased to 60 to 1.

That means that for every $1000.00 they have in fixed deposits they can literally create $59 000.00 that doesn’t exist. Great frigging business that provided you have no conscience.

The boffins tell us that this is fine.

They forget to tell us that Australia is the highest taxed country in the Western World. Plus of course the GST and other indirect taxation that is lobed in and you pay with that which they haven’t directly knobbled. That little issue is a closely guarded fact. The lucky country they say. Lucky in some things but certainly not the take home part of the pay packet.

Forty-eight cents dollar tax once you hit fifty grand. Where is the incentive for entrepreneur, investor or average punter in that???????????

Kiwis are moving in here at a great rate, most finding that about the only thing Australia has over the kiwis is the sun and a few cups. It sure as hell isn’t the opportunity to get prosperous.

The drift back to Enzed is increasing as it is found that the proverbial pot of gold is a dam site easier accessible in New Zealand.

There are many of course that have come here and done ok, some exceptionally. We have been here 21 years, not counting the many trips back to NZ, and it has been basically been quite good for this tortoise.

Dollars and Good Friends, in retrospect, would both have been more back in NZ but we are firmly entrenched with family and business and bailing out at this late stage isn’t really an option.

Track down a book by Russel Cornwell called acres of diamonds if you have itchy feet, regardless which country you life in.

You will find a copy on the following link. You can buy one for about three bucks from Amazon or read it on the link below for free. It only takes a few minutes. It was written about 70 years ago and has as powerful message as you will ever encounter. That’s why sales keep going and are in the tens of millions.

http://www.temple.edu/documentation/heritage/speech.html

This week’s wacky site is
About putting money in perspective: It is for those that have always wondered, like me, what a lot of money looks like. Well here it is.
http://www.kokogiak.com/megapenny/default.asp

Many Thanks

Every week we receive jokes, stories, photos, cartoons and items of interest from all over the world. Many of these we receive several times, some we have already used and others for whatever reasons we don’t use. We receive far more than we can use which gives us a continuous access of what we think is good material.

If you have sent in material and it wasn’t used or someone else was credited, we thank you for your contribution.

All material is displayed herein in good faith on the basis that it is allowed to be used in forums such as this. If any material is used that should not have been. Please advise immediately and it will be withdrawn and an apology given.

Many Thanks!

Paddy Sweeney

LINKS !
The Best Pub on the Planet	Paddys other business	The best way to play Australian Lotto three times a week
Good Bastards Drag Racing Team	Wild Foods Festival	Rugby Racing and Beer
Wacky Sites	Bon's Topsitelist Category	Wotzup Australia

Auckland 90.2 FM	Waikato 93.0 FM
Bay of Plenty 94.2 FM	Rotorua 92.7 FM	Taupo 94.3 FM
Taranaki 95.6 FM	Hawkes Bay 95.1 FM	Manawatu 95.4 FM
Kapati 91.9 FM	Wellingtom 96.3 FM	Nelson 94.6 FM
Canterbury 93.7 FM	Otago 93.4 FM	Southland 90.8 FM

Monday January 6th 2003 ISSUE #64
*Dedicated to fixing up political correctness.*
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Things you should check out on the site Before you bugger off home...

Things you should check out on the site
Before you bugger off home...