Monday August 26th 2002 Issue # 47
Dedicated to fixing up political correctness.

Coming to you from mission control on the Gold Coast Queensland

Thought for the day: "Nature gave man two ends -- One to sit on and one to think with. Man's success or failure is dependent on the one he uses most."

OPENING 8PM AUGUST 26th (TONIGHT!)

THE GOOD BASTARDS SHOP

Phzzzzzzt, we have been slowly getting a bit more Good Bastards “Stuff” and a bit more.  So at a secret Good Bastards Meeting a motion was passed and after that we got down to serious business.

We decided that we should stop shagging around with bits scattered everywhere and open up a shop on line.

For the socially disadvantaged such as Bloody Leo, Hooter, Pat Condon and a few others, the shop is a cyber shop.  That is it exists via the Internet.  It is not resident somewhere that some ball squeezing landlord is raping the retail till with as much caring thought as Lawyer collecting fees.

Now ya have to understand that it’s a bit basic at this point, none of those fancy bells and whistles yet, but that doesn’t matter.  It works and is all tucked away neatly under one button.
So if you’re looking for any of the following:

·        Good Bastards the larrikins guide for success

·        It’s a Bloody Try Ya Useless Bastard The definitive guide to country rugby

·        The Good Bastards Exclusive Footy Jersey

·        The Good Bastards Polo Shirt

·        The Good Bastards Cap

·        The Good Bastards Beanie

Then here's the place to get it! 

Every month we intend to bring on something different to add to your collection. Coming in the future:

n      The Good Bastards Huge Joke Book

n      The Good Bastards T-shirt

n      The Good Bastards Jacket

n      The Good Bastards Stubby Holder

n      The Good Bastards Sports Bag

n      The Good Bastards Diary

n      The Good Bastards Calender

n      How to host a Good Bastards Party

n      The Good Bastard Umbrella

n      The Good Bastards Scarf

n      The Good Bastards Tie

n      The Good Bastards Chilly bin/esky

n      The Good Bastards tapes/CD’s

n      The Good Bastards Video

n      Good Bastards Coasters, pens etc

n      The Good Bastards Glass

n      The Good Bastards Mug

n      Plus any other bloody thing that folk might want to buy and use

The bottom line about all this is that while the site is a lot of fun to produce it is reasonably costly to do so and maintain.  Somewhere, some how the money has to come from somewhere to do so.  The object of the product sales via the net is aimed at initially helping to break even and somewhere down the track we might even make a profit.

So keep your eye on www.goodbastards.com this evening for the grand opening of the Good Bastards Shop!

8pm AEST Monday August 26th

Greg Davidson has some views on how we should run our shop.
Check out Greg’s site on www.wotzup.com

Days of our Bloody lives?

Names have been changed to protect the innocent

The First Affair
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

After months of trying, the Wife became pregnant and, sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."

The Second Affair
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he couldn't bear to cremate the biggest Johnson he had ever seen! "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead
man's John Donger

The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe, "he said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh, my God!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"


The Third Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a
statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."

The Fourth Affair
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"ONE CENT!" exclaims the guy.
The barman replies, "Yes."

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, mushrooms, and a couple of fried eggs?"
"Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the guy?
"4 cents", he replies.
"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy.

"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."

The Fifth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face.

Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Becky," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess, "Replied the weeping Becky. "Everything's all
right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your Mother!"

"I know," Becky whispered softly. "That's why I poisoned you."

Struth
A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 150 kilos, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 kilos each, Turner Brown".
The small guy just faints away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks "Are you ok"?
In a very weak voice the little guys says, "Excuse me, what did you just say to me?"
The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always ask me. I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 150 kilos, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 kilos each, and my name is Turner Brown".
The small guy says, "Thank God!!! I thought you said, "Turn around".

Anger Management
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialled it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number).
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said,
"That's because you're an asshole!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.

The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I dialled and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 802 Avalon Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.
"Hello"
"You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed"
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 802 Avalon Street, a yellow house with my black Beemer out front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called asshole # 2:
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello Asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 9 news about the gang war going down at 802 Avalon Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over there.

There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

Now, I feel better.

 

Mind Benders from Hippie

Focus on the black dot in the centre and move your head backwards and forwards.

Bloody Leo

Bloody Leo had this bill from his solicitor that he thought was totally unreasonable and so had delayed paying it. 

The solicitor sent him a further bill with the words; this account is twelve months old. 

Bloody Leo sent a reply. Happy Birthday.

Bloody Leo in Drag

Definition of a FART

Finely
Articulated
Rectal
Tremor

Deep Concern

A Good Bastard is dying and is lying on his deathbed.

My wife are you there?  " Yes my husband I am here."

“My children are you there? " yes my father we are here."

“Well who the frig is looking after the shop?”

Can you spot the difference between these two photos?

Good Bastards World Cup

The Good Bastards World Cup Countdown is on 25 days to go.  Entries are starting to come in on all the divisions.

If you haven’t got a team but still want to play

Goog McGill from the Kokatahi Hotel is organising two teams on the Coast.  So if your looking to be part of it and are from that area give Goog a call on 03 755 8490

The West Coast Good Bastards Fifteen, open grade,

The West Coast Good Bastards Fifteen over 40’s

Glen Elley from the Black and White Hotel in Westport 03 789 7959 is also keen to hear from folk in the Buller region who are interested in joining in a similar team from that region.

We are also going to put together a couple of teams in a similar vein if indeed there are folk out there that want to play and be part of it and they can’t get the team together. We are looking for two good keen people who have a few contacts and could pull an invitation side together.

The Canterbury Good Bastards Invitation fifteen open grade

The Canterbury Good Bastards Invitation fifteen over 40’s

Perhaps you are in an area that you could also gather a team together and be part of this inaugural fun event. If so drop me an email. paddy@goodbastards.com

The Good Bastards World Cup is on display at the Mill Liquor Save in Fitzgerald Ave in Christchurch.  When you are down there stocking up on Good Bastards Beer have a gander.

Click for a flyer and for a registration form.

The
Good Bastards Rugby World Cup Dinner

 Saturday Night the 21st September
QE 11 Stadium Travis Rd Christchurch

Get your arse along for a great night!
(You should also come with it if you can)

The Funky Red Hot Mamas will be putting on a show that you won’t forget.  It will be a Great Night of Good Entertainment Great Food Great Beer and Wine & Great Fun, you will want to be there. More details here next week.

The Funky Hot Mamas are Louise Days and Leigh Wilson.  Together they are the hottest act to hit the stage since Abba!  With the ability to entertain in

 pubs, clubs and restaurants these two are able to ensure that every audience walks away entertained.

With experience in theatre, dance and cabaret the Funky Hot Mamas use all elements of show business to provide the best music combined with non-stop entertainment.

All Good Bastards are invited to buy tickets and come along.  If you are interested in attending our first major Good Bastards function in Christchurch then email me and get your name on the list. paddy@goodbastards.com We will then contact you to arrange payment.

Also

On the Friday night we will be having a Giday ya Good Bastard get together. It will also be at QE11 and the big game, Canterbury playing Auckland will be on the screen.  After the game we will have a bit of good entertainment with some skits and Paddy conducting court with a few Good Bastards fun events, great laugh great fun great bunch of Good Bastards. Come along and be part of it. 

Good Bastards Beer

Good Bastards Beer is now available in over 300 bottle stores and supermarkets throughout the country.  If yours hasn’t got it drop me an email and I will see what I can do.

Those who are near a Liquor King, Mill Liquor Save or Super Liquor in the South Island will find it readily available there.  Remember:

If you are not drinking a Good Bastards

You’re drinking the wrong beer

No one killer of males in the country
A doctor said it and I’m not sure if it’s exactly true as I have not spoken to him personally, however he reckons that prolonged drinking of chemically brewed beer, (virtually all major brands) leads to more heart failure, kidney cirrhosis of the liver Kidney breakdowns and cancer of the colon than any other cause.

There is also no doubt it makes you crook next day.

Heres Why:  They brew it in the morning and put the chemicals in to speed up the fermentation process. They whack in an extremely unhealthy amount of refined processed sugar, (as any one who has finished up with diabetes will call it, the white death) then in as quick a period of time as possible they put the in the food colouring. (You would never drink it the colour it turns out) then they whack it into bottles and kegs to sell to the punter with out so much a mention as to how it can cause horrendous health problems.

From the brewery’s perspective this is the most cost effective way to make profits from beer.  It is so far removed from the way real beer is made it’s ridiculous from a health perspective.  And in my view it is far removed from any principle of selling an ethical and safe product.

The Good Bastards Difference: Our beer is made in the traditional fashion.  It has no added sugar, no added chemicals, no food colouring.  It is required to ferment for at least seven days then it is put in conditioning tanks in a cool room for around five weeks. It is here where the complex natural reactions take place that are not afforded to the chemical brews, which smooth out undesirable flavours and compounds. After a period of five weeks the beer is then ready for filtrating and bottling and safe sensible drinking.

Just thought you should know that, if you go dying from drinking the chemical crap don’t go blaming me, or when your writhing in the pain or partly paralysed from a heart problem, don’t say you didn’t know.  Sure I’m wheeling the Good Bastards Beer Barrow and at the same time giving you an insight as to how you may well be putting yourself on a crash with permanent and unnecessary serious and sometimes terminal health problems. There is an alternative, Good Bastards is the answer.

Good Bastards Hall of Fame
Brian and Veronica Moore

Some times referred to as More or Less and the Red Head from West Melton. These pair of Good Bastards have been around since Jesus put a salary cap on the Apostles.

I think I am related to the Red Head, but sometimes when I get pissed she reckons that’s not the case.  Ardent supporters of Good Bastards they attend Good Bastards Days and promote the beer and the books in a grand fashion.

If you are looking to buy or sell real estate in the general area of Merrivale or Fendalton Saint Albans then Brian is your man.  You will find him at L J Hooker in Merrivale Christchurch New Zealand. Phone him on 0274 376 993

Veronica is into interior design and can be reached on 03 356 1422

I can’t say too much of an adverse nature here as they probably know more about me than I know about them.

Suffice it to say, they are great company to have a few beers or a meal with and no doubt will be at the Good Bastards functions at QE 11 in September.

I will toast to your good health then and I will do it now.

Cheers, you Good Bastards.

Welcome to the Good Bastard Hall of Fame.

Good Bastards Hall of Fame Nominations

Who do you know is a Good Bastard?  You can nominate someone or a couple as Good Bastard(s). Doesn’t matter what country.  All you have to do is email us a photo and background information and why you think they should be admitted to the Good Bastards Hall of Fame. paddy@goodbastards.com

Good Bastards Cartoon

We are seeking to sell our cartoons to publications anywhere. If you are looking for cartoons to enhance your newsletter, then you can buy a CD with 24 cartoons in colour and Black and White. Costs AUS$49 with the rights to reproduce in your designated newsletter.

Magazines, web sites and newspapers should enquire for a quote stating frequency and publication numbers should they want to publish the Good Bastards cartoons.

Good Bastards Law
Try as you might, ya rotten bastards who make up the bureaucrats who try to crush our balls with ya rules on how to stop folk from being successful. Well you cannot stop, stuff up or even slow down a Good Bastard who has made up their mind they are going to do something.  Once a Good Bastard gets the momentum of strong desire and forty millions tons of determination no bastard is going to stop them. Regardless of how many twerps, who should be in the funny farm in any event, have told the poor bastards given the job on the front line to say NO THESE ARE THE RULES AND DON’T MAKE ANY EXCEPTION. No way no how is such a piss weak statement, devised by the reality inept going make the slightest dent in what inevitability will be achieved. Bureaucratic red tape is there to be re-bundled and shoved up the arses of those that create and administer such diatribe. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. We are coming through come hell shit or high water.  If ya get in the way, the wind of Good Bastards going past will have you have you stuck to the wall where folk might well confuse you with 3^rd rate graffiti.  Screech chalk across a blackboard long enough and you can pretty much get anyone to do anything.

Pat Condon Reckons
Pat has sent in a few questions that he reckons will fool you. See how you go.

* How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?
* How do you get off a non-stop flight?
* How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
* How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
* If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
* If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless, naked, or both?

LUCK
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears.

"You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right there.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

“ Why don’t you f*** off, I’m beginning to thing you are just plain bad luck.”

Hyndsie Reports in

I am passing this on to you all, as it is very important information. It is definitely working for me.

It truly is amazing I think I have found inner peace.

It started when I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a cheesecake, a large box of chocolates, three jam donuts, two hamburgers, four pies, two chooks. A couple of scoops of chips, a bag of boiled lollies, a bottle of vodka and then I washed it down with a dozen of Good Bastards Beer

I feel much better already. My inner feels very much at peace.

Pass this vital information along to those you think need Inner Peace.   

Well Trained

Mary pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air.

She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. "I don't know about you, lady," he said incredulously. "But I usually just put my car in park."

The Best Fathers Day Present
Get yourself in the Good Books

It is on the bookshelves of Paper Plus and Whitcoulls stores in New Zealand.  Also all other good book stores.  The Southland Hotel in Hokitika as the main Good Bastards Pub also has copies for sale as does Goog McGill at the Kokatahi Hotel.

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH from Kaye and Jimmy Hayes in Ireland

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

True Confessions
Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.

The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.

Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."

After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents house for two weeks."

The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a second hand Mazda."

"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"

Sex Therapy Advice
An older couple were having trouble with their sex life, so the wife went to a sex therapist and was advised to try sexercises.

He gave the wife a list of them to do each day.

Later that night as the couple were getting ready for bed, the husband went to take a
shower and the wife thought she'd try out her sexercises.

She got undressed and rolled back on her shoulders and placed her feet on the headboard.

About that time, her husband came out of the bathroom and looked over at the bed and said, "For god's sake, Mavis, comb your hair and put your teeth back in. You look just like your mother!"

Good Bitches

Fact

Inside me, there's a thin woman
trying to get out.
But I can usually shut the
Bitch up with Chocolate

Little Paddy

The teacher was doing a study testing the senses of her pupils using a bowl of Lifesavers. She gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver one at a time and
asked them to identify them by colour and flavour.
The children began to say:
"Red..................cherry"
"Yellow.............lemon"
"Green...............lime"
"Orange..............orange"

Finally, he gave them Honey flavoured Lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments none of the children could identify the taste.
"Well" he said,
"I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."

Little Paddy looked up in horror, spat his out and yelled, "Everybody,
spit them out - they're arseholes!"

Nick from the morning rumble on the ROCK

Me mate George had been a compulsive worrier for years until he found a way to overcome this problem. I noticed
the dramatic change. I said, "You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore."
George said, "Mate, I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week, and I haven't had a single problem since."
I said, "A thousand a week? How the hell are you going to pay him?"
George said, "Stuff him. That's his problem." (Pat Condon please take note)

And a special one for you Paddy because you live on the Gold Coast, which is like a suburb of Tokyo...   This is a classic and so bloody true. Paddy

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at one of your fine Japanese hotels.

Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

RS: Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??
G: Uh, yes... I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow July den?
G: What?

RS: Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

RS: Ow July dee bayhcem--crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Hokay. An san tos?
G: What?

RS: San tos. July San tos?
G: I don't think so

RS: No? Judo one toes??
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what  "judo one toes means."

RS: Toes! toes! Why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish  mopping we bother?
G: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying "Toast."
   Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RS: We bother?
G: No, just put the bother on the side.

RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter--just put it on the side.

RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?

RS: Copy, tea, mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.

RS: One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
    baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh,
    and copy--rye?
G: Whatever you say.

RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You're welcome.

Here are the frequencies:

Check out their web site
 
www.therock.net.nz

IT’S FREE

Here's where you join...

The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards

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Click here to find out more, or fill out the form below to join now!

Membership to the Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards is restricted to those 18 years of age and older.

Great sporting Photographs of the last century.

Passion in sport is the very thing that drives people to the pinnacle of success. Here are one of those moments captured on film.

Last word from Paddy
Well the Bulldogs have been caught with their pants down at the neighbours house. Serves the bastards right. They had the slap on wrist with a wet bus ticket for their alleged fraudulent activities.  They are involved as Joint venture partners with an $800 million dollar project and have reaped countless millions from their high not deserved profile. 

The players are bleating that the game is fore the players and they knew nothing about it.

The fans are bleating the game is for the fans and they are being unfairly penalised.

Balls to both augments. As reasonable as they may seem on the emotive surface.

The Bulldogs is a major concern working with the same rules in the market place as the rest of us.  It is about money, about sponsorship and selling products.  The players are the workers and the fans the customers.

Those that perforated this alleged fraud in any other environment deemed to be wrong and charged with criminal offences.

You and I would if we did the same things, absolutely no doubt about that.

Charge the whole twenty of the board and anyone else that set up the alleged fraud. Let the players who are disadvantaged sue the club if it is deemed they breached the contracts.  Let the fans elect a new board and rebuild once they have the alleged vermin properly removed.

Life goes on.  We all get a few doses of this sort of crap in life one way or another.

Also the Bullshit the media have carried on about when the streaker ran on the field with Vodafone written all over him.  They cried all this pious bullshit about how wrong it was.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.  I wish he had run on the field with Good Bastards Beer written all over him.  Streakers add an entertaining dimension to the game and I estimate 90% of fans love it.

As for the Vodafone bit, their donation of a hundred grand and an apology was nothing more than milking the publicity for a few days on the front page of newspapers and primetime television.  I’m jealous and not frighten to stand up and applaud the whole great darn thing.  Vodafone will continue to get free publicity for some considerable time to come.  The streaker will probably go on to become the C.E.O.

Gregg Davidson from www.wotzup.com  has captured his thoughts on the event.

Marry a dumfart? Better off dead!

This week’s wacky site

Here is a site run by a watch dog out fit the keeps an eye on all the bullshit that is happening around the place.  Down under doesn’t get much of a mention, but it turns up some interesting laughs just the same. Check it out. certifiedbullshit@topica.com.

Things you should check out on the site

Before you bugger off home...

The Good Bastards world Cup; Find out about our Rugby Club

The Good Bastards Hall of Fame:  Check out some real Great Good Bastards

Good Bastards Hall of Fame Nominations:  Nominate who you think should be

The Good Bastards Archives: Heaps of past news and great gags

The Good Bastards Gold Nugget: Write a Good bastard Story and win the Nugget

Good Bastards Stories:  Read stories written by other Good Bastards

The Good Bastards Competitions:  You could win stuff, give it a go.

Good Bastards, the book: Read the first chapter

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