Monday August 19th 2002 Issue # 46
Dedicated to fixing up political correctness.

Coming to you from mission control on the Gold Coast Queensland

Thought for the day: "The biggest Oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground."

Red Hot Mamas
Booked For Good Bastards Rugby Cup Main Function

The function will be at QE 11 Stadium and all Good Bastards are invited to buy tickets and come along.  If you are interested in attending our first major Good Bastards function in Christchurch then email me and get your name on the list. paddy@goodbastards.com We will then contact you to arrange payment.

Bloody Leo

Good Bastards Beer

The Good Bastards World Cup is on tour. Check it out this week at the Mill Liquor Save in Morehouse Ave in Christchurch. Call in and see Drabs and nail yourself some Good Bastards Beer while you are there.

The Good Bastards World cup is coming along with registrations starting to come in. We need a hand to get the word out about it. We have mailed all sorts of Rugby Club Secretaries around the country yet many players in teams we have spoken to haven’t heard about it.

Click here and get a copy of our flyer and email it to every bastard you know that thinks, plays, watches or is like me an arm chair expert, and let them know about it. Getting the word out is the name of the game. We have done press releases and had reasonable success. Other press releases will go out; still only a few papers ever pick it up and run with it.

If you are looking for a registration form click here.

 

Here Is What The Players Get

• A copy of the book, It’s a bloody Try Ya Useless Bastard
• A Good Bastards Rugby World Cup T-shirt
• Certificate of commemoration
• Three great games of Rugby
• Three very social occasions
• A great weekend
• If your not playing come along and support us, there will be a Good Bastards Bar operating.
Better still come along to the Inaugural Good Bastards Rugby World Cup Dinner. Email me for details paddy@goodbastards.com
 

Good Bastards Gear
Good Bastards Gear is available; there are Good Bastards Footy Jerseys and Good Bastards Polo Shirts. Interested? Drop me an email paddy@goodbastards.com


Good Bastards Hall of Fame

Peter and Trisha Teen

Finally got the photos I wanted of Peter and Trisha getting married. They tied the knot up in Scotland at a Castle and Pete froze his balls off wearing the skirt. Oops sorry Kilt.

Trish and Peter have been living in London for a few years where Trish runs a school and Pete heads up a team of blokes nailing up buildings to stop no hopers squatting.

Saint Pam and I spent a bit of time with Peter and Trish last year. Check out issue 12 click here and read about our great time with these two magnificent hosts.

Peter was the star winger in The Saint Mary’s Team when I was the team manger back in the early seventies. The catch cry back in those days was, Past the Ball to Pete ya Stupid Bastards. Maybe I could write a bit about this Legend in a book sometime.

Peter Teen could always be relied on as a solid performer on the field and off.

A few years ago he met up with Trisha, another real good bastard, and she seems to have corralled him, a task that many thought impossible. It takes a good woman to corral a good man and she certainly fits that description.

The word is that this pair of Good Bastards is heading back to New Zealand next year where no doubt they will blend into all things Good Bastard.

I’ll be rasing a toast to your good health any old time now and encourage every other Good Bastard to do the same.

To Trisha and Peter. Cheers.
 

Pat Condon Reckons
The bloody Rugby Union has got it all wrong again. This fat bastard Peiter Zyl that ran on the field and bumped into the ref just before the forwards fell on him and broke his shoulder. They are all talking about putting him in jail. Put him in jail my arse, he got past 419 security guards. Put him on the wing. Not only that if Voda Phone had advertised on this bastards fat gut they would have got better value than the skinny bastard last week

Good Bastards Cartoon

We are seeking to sell our cartoons to publications anywhere. If you are looking for cartoons to enhance your newsletter, then you can buy a CD with 24 cartoons in colour and Black and White. Costs AUS$49 with the rights to reproduce in your designated newsletter.

Magazines, web sites and newspapers should enquire for a quote stating frequency and publication numbers should they want to publish the Good Bastards cartoons.

Thirty reasons dogs are better than wives...

1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

7. A dog's parents never visit.

8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

11. Dogs seldom outlive you.

12. Dogs can't talk.

13. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready 24-hours a day.

15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

16. Dogs like to go hunting.

17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get
another dog?"

20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.

21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just
think it's interesting.

25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

29. Dogs are not allowed in Major Department stores or womens’ dress shops.

30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.

 

How men screw up a romantic evening.

Poor Bloody Karl
Two ladies, who hadn't seen each other in quite some time, met at the supermarket.
"How are you, Helen?"
"Fine."
"And your husband?"
"Oh, Karl died two weeks ago."
"What? I hadn't heard. What happened?"
"He went out in the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and fell over, dead."
"I'm sorry. What did you do?"
"Opened a can of corn instead."

"Don't Anger The Nurse!"
A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees.

None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced,

"I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Well, no. I guess I haven't. Not with a daffodil, anyway."

Just another Lawyer Joke, nothing important

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."

"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"

"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hm. Well, where do you catch'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.” Same here. Hm. How do you catch'em?"

"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing' left but lips and a briefcase..."

The Best Info You Will Get On Dieting

Here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies...

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:  Eat and drink what you like.

A Tale Of Love
A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it.
He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.
To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way. Sure, he has not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too..."

Great sporting Photographs of the last centaury.

Passion in sport is the very thing that drives people to the pinnacle of success. Here are one of those moments captured on film.

The Cobblestones
Two Italian nuns are riding their rickety old bikes down the back streets of Rome late one afternoon. It starts getting dark and one of the nuns gets a little nervous. She leans over to the other nun and says, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun replies, "It's the cobblestones."

New Car on the market
There are those folk out there that have a loose bootlace on their wrinkle.  Some enterprising bastard has come up with a solution to this sometimes-challenging problem.  Not only will it be a refreshing site around town it will be providing a great service.

Paul Teen's new car.

Dad

MOTHER:  "What did father say when he learned you're pregnant?"

DAUGHTER:  "Shall I leave out the profanity?"

MOTHER:  "Yes, of course!"

DAUGHTER:  "Nothing."
 
                
Larrikin Lawyers
We found this on a site called www.patersons.com.au/larrikin/ a legal firm that obviously has a sense of humour.  We all know that its open season on Lawyers from Boxing Day through to Christmas day each year.  What we didn’t know was there was a limit on how many you can bag.  Limits imposed by any bastard are always a bit of a worry in the free world, wherever that hell that is.             

Bag Limits    (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)

Caught Frowning, seldom happens Good Bastard John Hynds better known in these circles as Hyndsie One of, if not the, friendliest happiest Bastards in the world.

Aesop's Fable - The Farmer and the Snake
ONE WINTER a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom.
The warmth quickly revived the Snake, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. "Oh," cried the Farmer with his last breath, "I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel."
 
The greatest kindness will not bind the ungrateful.
A truer word has never been written.
 

Father's Day Present!

It's a Bloody Try Ya Useless Bastard!

The Definitive Guide to Country Rugby

The Best Father's Day Present on the Planet!

It leaves the printer this week with a massive shipment being air freighted from Australia to New Zealand.  Paper Plus have ordered the most with Whitcoulls also ordering a significant number.  Other good bookshops throughout New Zealand will also have it in stock. It sells for $19.95.  It is not being released in Australia at this stage.

Members of The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards can buy it here at a 30% discount, $13.95 post and packaging is $5.00 so there is bugger all savings.  You will get one quicker and you can have it personally autographed copy for your Dad on Fathers day.

Good Bastards, the larrikins guide for success is also available with an autograph @ $19 .95 or with the 30% discount for members is $13.95

Or if you buy both and are members of The Most Recent Order of Good Bastards (CLICK HERE to join) they would normally be $27.95 plus $5 postage and packaging total $32.95.  Special deal, we’ll cop the postage and packaging $27.95 all up.

If you want a Good Bastards polo shirt as well, we’ll call it $50.00 in Australia or New Zealand Add $10.00 elsewhere and we are all square and you have the best Good Bastards Fathers day present on the planet.

Got it Fixed at last
A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art, you can hear a flea fart from fifty yards."
"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

 

Morris has the same problem
Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.' " The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

Good Bastards

In The News

Again

We seem to get our fair share of coverage in the media.  Here is a story that appeared in the Christchurch Press on Friday the 16^th of August.  We also were lucky enough to have similar stories published in several other papers around the country.

Rugby, film, and beer movement

16 August 2002

A screenplay that claims to rival Crocodile Dundee, and a rugby world cup are the latest exploits of Good Bastards.

The West Coast larrikin movement, started in Hokitika 10 months ago by expatriate West Coaster Paddy Sweeney, now has its own beer, books, and a big following in New Zealand and Australia.

The Good Bastards Rugby World Cup, to be held in Christchurch on September 21 and 22, is Mr Sweeney's answer to the "kerfuffle" over the rights and wrongs of the real World Cup debacle.

Big scores will not win this tournament? The winner will be the team that is deemed to consist of "true Good Bastards". The three grades are open, women's, and over-40s, and the event will be staged at Queen Elizabeth II Park, and is being organised by Neil Blanchfield, who has been involved in organising the World Masters Games, the World Firemen's Games, and the World Golden Oldies rugby tournament in Christchurch in 1995.

Mr Sweeney said profits from the world cup would go to a trust that was being formed to help people in need of a hand, such as medical expenses. The tournament would also launch the second in a series of books, entitled It's a Bloody Try Ya Useless Bastard, the Definitive Guide to Country Rugby.

The first book, Good Bastards, the Larrikins Guide to Success, has sold more than 4000 copies.

Last weekend, women's rugby teams from the South Island competed in a tournament and pub crawl.

A film screenplay is being written, and a chain of bars and grills is mooted.

This year, Ross' Evan Birchfield will bid for a world record by attempting to jump 10 cars in an old army tank.

Busy road this Bastard

Gus Heveldt was in Perth recently and was driving down the freeway when his mobile phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's Maureen voice urgently warning him,
"Gus, ya bastard, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the Perth Motorway. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Gus. "There are hundreds of the bastards!"

Here is Greg Davidson sees the Good Bastards World Cup

 
Whadda Ya mean I never show any affection
Check out Greg’s site on www.wotzup.com

Men are from Mars

Men are from Mars
Women are from Venus
Politicians are from Uranus

Juggle this ya Bastard
The South Westland Policeman pulled a car over about two miles South of the Jacobs River bridge When the cop asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Jacobs River to do a show that night and didn't want to be late.

The copper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the policeman that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The deputy told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his squad car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the policeman got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, the flares were spinning around and sending off their trail of sparks, it really was spectacular.

A car pulled in behind the squad car, a bloke called Bob Stewart from Fox who had had a few got out and watched the performance briefly, he then went over to the squad car, opened the rear door and got in. The cop observed him doing this and went over to his squad car, opened the door and asked Bob what he thought he was doing.

Bob replied, "Might as well take my arse on to jail, there's no way in hell I can pass that test."

Hooter's Secrets for a happy marriage.

Hooter at his best.

Hooter is a bit of a lad with the gals; at least that’s what Hooter thinks.  Here is latest expose on the finer points on attracting your ideal mate!

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.

3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

4. It is important that these three women never meet.

Hooter getting in the mood for romance

Dumb Bastard

There was this zebra that had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zookeeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.

The zebra was so excited, she got to see this huge space with green grass and hills and trees and all these strange animals.  She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all
excited.  "Hi, I'm a zebra.  What are you?"
"I'm a cow."
"Right, right.  What do you do?"
"I make milk for the farmer."
"Cool."  The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it.  "Hi, I'm a zebra.  What are you?"
"I'm a chicken."
"Oh, right.  What do you do?"
"I make eggs for the farmer."
"Right, great, see ya round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes.  She ran over to it.  "Hi, I'm a zebra. What are you?"
"I am a Stallion," said the stallion.
"Wow," said the zebra.  "What do you do?"
"Take off your pyjamas, darling, and I'll show you

Some Old Bastard ya all know
An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the wedding, they had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
”How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather hopefully.
”Well, I’d have to say I like it infrequently,” she responded.
The old guy paused …. Then he asked, “Was that one word or two?”

Helen Didn’t sign this Bastard

Poor bloody Helen, the feral bitch from the beehive.  Birchy from Ross has had a long undying feeling for Helen and how she scowls down her nose at Good Bastards on the West Coast.  So much so he took his tank up to Wellington recently and drove it through the beehive.

As he came out the other side the tank actually picked a wart on the gun barrel.  On the day an artist captured the event and it is here displayed as this weeks entry into our competition

Frightful Four letter Words, shocking, shameful; block your ears as you read this.

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful. WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! COME AND GET ME, PLEASE!!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook......."

"I'll pick you up in ten minutes," said the mother

 

Good Bitches

At the 2001 World Women's Conference the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb." The crowd cheered. The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well." The crowd cheered. The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last years' conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

Rosy and Nina

"Rosy," asked Nina thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught another woman in bed with your husband?"

Rosy thought for a moment and then said, "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."


They don’t always work (Alan Kerr also told me)

The bride-to-be and her best friend were discussing the formers impending wedding.

"If you want an unforgettable wedding night," her friend said, "get him to eat a dozen oysters after the ceremony."

A week after, the new bride thanked her friend but said plaintively, "Only eight of the oysters worked."

 

How Helen dealt with death

Two ladies, who hadn't seen each other in quite some time, met at the supermarket.
"How are you, Helen?"
"Fine."
"And your husband?"
"Oh, Karl died two weeks ago."
"What? I hadn't heard. What happened?"
"He went out in the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and fell over, dead."
"I'm sorry. What did you do?"
"Opened a can of corn instead."


Good Bitches Bumper Stickers

"SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY"

I got this sports car for my husband.... BEST deal I ever made!

I'm the man of my house and I have my wife's permission to say so.

This car is like my husband; if it ain't yours bitch don't touch it!

Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?

Get in. Sit down. Shut up. Hang on.

Support your local undertaker - DROP DEAD!

Good Bitches Recipe

I don't usually reveal my secret recipes recipes, but this one is exceptionally good!
3 kilo chicken, 1 cup melted butter, 1 cup stuffing, 1 cup uncooked popcorn.
Salt and pepper chicken to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan in oven. Listen for popping sounds; when chicken's arse blows out the oven door and flies across the room, chicken is done

Good Bitches Birthday Card.

Forget about the past, You can't change it.

Forget about the future, You can't predict it.

Inside:

Forget about the present, I didn't buy you one

The bloody missus

A completely inebriated man (who for the sake of the children shall remain un-named) walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him right across the moosh.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife.  You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.

"That's funny," he muttered, "You even sound exactly like her."

Little Paddy

Little Paddy’s Mum was showing him how to zip up his coat.
"The secret," she said, "is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."
Little Paddy looked at her quizzically... "Why does it have to be a secret?"


 

Nick from the morning rumble on the ROCK

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave New Zealand?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and rugby players over there."
"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from New Zealand!"
The boy replied, "No shit??? Who did she play for?"

Here are the frequencies:

Check out their web site
 
www.therock.net.nz

Paddy

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father O'Rafferty.  "Top o' the mornin' to ye," said the Father,
"Aren't you Mrs. O'Donovan?  Didn't I marry ye and yer husband two years ago?
"She replied "Aye, that ye did, Father."  "And be there any wee ones yet?"
"No, not yet, Father," Mrs. O'Donovan, said.
"Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for ye."
"Oh, thank ye, Father."  They parted ways.
Some years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," the priest said.
"How are ye these days?"
"Oh, very well," said she.
"And tell me," he said. "Have ye any wee ones yet?"
"Oh, yes, Father," Mrs. O'Donovan, replied.  "Three sets of twins and four singles -10 in all."
"Aye, that's wonderful!" he said.  "And how is your lovely husband?"
"Oh," she said.  "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer bloody' candle."

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Last word from Paddy

Well, today 2 the 16^th of August 25 years ago the King died. No not King Helen, Elvis.  Now there was a real Good Bastard of an entertainer and stuff me dead, he is back in NO 1 spot in 25 country’s.

That’s just for any one who had any doubt about him being King. And there is more to come

If you’re an Elvis fan and you haven’t already, check out www.elvis.com the official site.

LONG LIVE THE KING
 

This week’s wacky site is The arse race

I think it was designed for my old mate Paul Teen. You won’t credit just what it is, if you like a bit of a punt then this is for you.  An arse race!!!!!  What the bloody hell is an arse race?  Just click on to it and try your luck.

   http://www.chridmeister.co.uk/arserace/arserace.html

Things you should check out on the site

Before you bugger off home...

The Good Bastards world Cup; Find out about our Rugby Club

The Good Bastards Hall of Fame:  Check out some real Great Good Bastards

Good Bastards Hall of Fame Nominations:  Nominate who you think should be

The Good Bastards Archives: Heaps of past news and great gags

The Good Bastards Gold Nugget: Write a Good bastard Story and win the Nugget

Good Bastards Stories:  Read stories written by other Good Bastards

The Good Bastards Competitions:  You could win stuff, give it a go.

Good Bastards, the book: Read the first chapter

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