Monday the 18th of March 2002                        No. 24

Coming to you from Christchurch New Zealand

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Thought for the day
No Matter how good-looking he or she is, someone, somewhere, is tired of putting up with their crap.

Short news this week. Largely due to an exhaustive couple of weeks holding up the flag for the Good Bastards cause. It has been full n’ flat out getting everything done. Boy has there been a lot accomplished. A massive amount in fact and you will hear more about a whole host of things over the next few weeks. Things that will astound and amaze you. Well they have me anyway.

Brews Blues and BBQ’s

What a terrific two days we had in Shagley, opps, Hagley park in Christchurch. Around 8,000 people over the two days turned up to enjoy the camaraderie and good times.

The Good Bastards tent was one of the best patronized and this time we didn’t run out of beer. Nearly though, down to our last few boxes.

Our great sales were largely attributed to the legendary team that we had handling the bar. More on them and photos next week.

Bloody Leo

Bloody Leo: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Paddy: I dunno, what?

Bloody Leo: Nothing, you’ve already told her twice.

When I was a young bastard

I turned up for school this day and was sitting there bored shitless and decided I had to go to the toilet. So I yelled out.

"Hey teach, I need to take a piss."

The teacher, a patient woman, said "Now Paddy that’s no way to speak. The correct word is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence and I will let you go."

"You’re an eight, but if your tits were bigger you’d be a ten."

On another occasion

Little Paddy rushed into the house and asked his mum. "Can little girls have babies?"

"No dear they can’t"

He dashes outsides to join his friends.

"Okay, Pat Condon’s wrong, we can play that game again."

Good Bastards Hall of Fame

Rachel O’Teachain

Last years Good Bastards Day coordinator takes the gong this week. For those that were there and experienced the smoothly ran events of the Good Bastards Book Launch and The Good Bastards Day will know that this lady was the one responsible.

Rachel has spent the last number of years in Ireland fulfilling a key role within the Digi-phone company.

She is someone who lights up a room when she enters and can add colour to the dullest of days of anyone’s life.

It is positively anticipated that she will be around this year to coordinate our big day in December

Like her Dad and Mum, she seems to have friends in every corner of the world and they just keep turning up to visit there friend.

Here’s to you Rachel and your catch phrase; when all is against you and its all up hill, rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Join The Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards

Win the 10 six packs

The 10 six pack competition for the one that introduces the most new members into the Most Recent Order Of Good Bastards is neck and neck between Steve Bennett and Joe Ellingham with three each. It has the rest of the month to go and anyone half serious about winning the free grog could come from a standing start and take off the prize. So get your mates and pals involved and get your name up into winner’s podium.

To win you have to submit a Good Bastards story or a story of a "Good Bastard". The winner will be announced at the Southland Hotel Hokitika on Good Bastards Day 2002 Complete your story in a thousand words or less, and submit with the completed entry form (Click Here) Closes 15 October 2002

The Good Bastards Gold Nugget is a rare and famous nugget that West Coast gold miner and all-round Good Bastard, Evan Birchfield found by chance on his gold mine near Ross on the South Island of New Zealand.

Paddy’s Business Minute

Ask most businesses how many methods they have for bringing in the business and very few will be able to come up with even six.

The smart business, one that is aimed at giving the owners the degree of prosperity and lifestyle they desire, will have at least twenty.

The question for this week is: How many do you have?

In our core business www.equitylicensing.com we have over twenty. In an advanced training program, we have over 200 to choose from. All detailed and dove tailed into a planning system that lays out and administers the process.

Next week lets look at a few.

Bloody Great News
Good Bastards Dark Ale Wins Major Award
No 1 Best Bottled Dark Ale in the Asian Pacific Region

Saturday the 9^th of March 2002 will be a milestone in the on going history of GOOD BASTARDS BEER. The Beer awards were held in Nelson New Zealand with morwe than 40 Brewery’s competing for the gongs. And YES! We won one of them. And it was a big one.

We took out the top award for bottle Dark Ale in the Asian Pacific Region. Basically that means the judges rated our Dark Ale the best there is in New Zealand, Australia and the rest of the Pacific Region.

Last word from Paddy

When I was a young bastard we use have to do this religious instruction thing called catechism. It was a shit of a thing that swimming nude in ice cold water had more appeal. Unfortunately no one gave me that option.

This day, the priest asked us all where we go when we die.

Everyone yelled "Heaven."

The priest then directed his next question to me.

"And what do you have to be to get there Paddy?"

"Dead!"

Until next week, you keep smiling and remember while you’re laughing, nothing is bad. So laughter is the answer to all the crook things that happen.

See you back here next week for the next edition